Well lets see, what have I been up to since last I updated this silly thing....

Starting session 2 of my 3D design course, which happens to be the section on animation. Which means I've gone through modeling, texturing, characters, level design and all that other jazz. So far been getting rather good results in all of them and I have been told that I'm generally good in everything so far, which is cool and all but I'd kind of like to have a specialty. Anyways back onto animation, so far it seems like it could have some potential for great fun, just messing around with animating the result of my first project was pretty fun (I made a death animation for a spider). However before the actual animation part I have to get through rigging, which is somewhat of a big meany pants. It reminds me of my programming course because you need to really think extremely basic and then work your way up until you've got a good system of controllers setup to help you animate, and its basically a ton of trial and error with the danger of forgetting one step will break everything in certain situations.

As much as I'd like to get into animating a whole lot on my own time and making some cool stuff, or modeling some characters, I just find I have no motivation to do anything other than play WoW. You could say it stole my soul again, but hey I'd much rather hang out with my friends (which playing an MMO seems like the easiest and funnest way to do that) than doing much else. Even then I feel the only things that satisfies me is just messing around on WoW. Theres something that my actual life seems to be lacking even though everything else is fine, just one thing I'm missing which I think I know what it is, but maybe I don't. All I know is that I won't be finding it for some time, I'm just not ready or even capable of that yet. I'm still much too young and inexperienced to be able to handle it right now, mentally at least. I feel as though I'm a little bird that needs to be thrown out of the nest so I can learn how to fly, but instead I'm bottled up and stuck in there, always dependent on others to do things for me, and I know that I can't break that until situations change and I can leave. I've always been afraid of everything and have only been able to accomplish tasks that scare me when a worse outcome seems inevitable, the only way I can learn the skills that I need to live is to be FORCED to learn them by myself or meet with death.

Anyways, I just needed to express something, somehow, even if it was just for me, and this seemed like the easiest way to do that. I also got a chance to look up the word cessations which may or may not fit but I used it anyways.